Parents & Relationships

My in laws were convinced I was not the right choice for my now wife of 26 years. They knew just how to make my life hell as well. You can just imagine the arguments and fights I had with my girlfriend back in the beginning when I was going out with her; always about her parents. My answer always was It is you I am going to marry not them’. Fortunately my own parents loved my wife and unlike my in-laws said we were a great match! After being married for a few years my in laws became my greatest friends. Parents and your relationships can be a sticky issue or you can be lucky and be accepted first time around!

What do parents want?

Every parent wants what is best for their children. When it comes to parents and your relationships, then there can be a lot of conflict if they do not approve of your boyfriend or girlfriend. What happens is that it puts strain on your relationship with your partner, and your relationship with your parents as well at the same time. If you get married defiantly, and your in laws still do not approve of you, then you can be in for a rocky ride, which will also be a true test of the love you have for each other. Parents may not approve of your partner because of the background they come from, their career choices, their financial situation, or their education and that is just a start. Sometimes no one will be good enough, even if you think they are a perfect match for you, they are not going to admit it! Naturally, everyone will prefer to have their parents blessing on their relationship otherwise there will always seem to be something missing. Get parents to understand that you are mature enough to make the right choices.

Work on the points that your parents do not agree on.

The first thing that needs to be done for satisfying parents and your relationship with your partner, is to see what the problems are that you parents have with your partner or what your future in laws have against you?. There can be small disagreements that can easily be sorted out with some compromise and discussion. For example; perhaps they do not approve of your partners appearance, or manners and you can definitely sort out these areas by discussing what can be done with your partner. If your partner really loves you, then they are sure to be willing enough to understand. Open communication is bets in parents and relationships with everyone concerned

Learn more about your future in laws

Getting your partners parents to accept you, means also finding out their likes and dislikes. When you know what these are, then you can start pushing all the right buttons. If the parents have a problem about your career path, ask them why. Perhaps they may not really understand what it is about, or it could be about whether you are going to be able to support your own family properly. Find a bit about the parents own life experiences because this way you can see where you can relate to them with your own. Learn about parents and their relationships too!

Discuss parents’ fears with them about your relationship

You can perhaps explain more about your career with them, and tell them where you see yourself in the future. Should they be worried about your background then make them understand that you are a unique individual, and should not be typecast in the way they may be seeing you. Ask the parents straight up why they do not approve of you. Maybe it is a huge misunderstanding or something pretty small that you can do about getting their approval. If they are going to be your future in laws then the sooner you do something the better! Parents and your relationships can be a minefield so tread lightly and try and get everything right so that you can get their blessings and trust!

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