Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Arguing In Relationships

At some time or another you are going to get in to an argument with your partner, and the disagreement can be either a small or complicated issue. The real purpose of arguing in relationships is to come to an agreement or compromise. Unfortunately when one of you does not budge on an issue, it can cause problems in your relationship that can spiral out of control! Arguing in relationships is a form of communication, to address problems; and the argument should come to an end after a mutual agreement is reached. Here are some tips to take into consideration when arguments arise in relationships which will keep them real, and trust me at some time or another they are going to come in handy. Never let an argument become so serious that your relationship is in jeopardy because of it.

Some causes of arguments in relationships

Arguments arise when a partner feels wronged in a relationship, or there is a problem with your partner that you need to bring out in the open and address. Naturally there are thousands of reasons along these lines, but some of the most common arguments that start in relationships are money related, from jealousy, resentment about something a partner does or does not do, or career related. Consider these points when you have an argument:

Do not change the subject you are arguing about, and Argue in the present.

When you are having an argument with your partner, try and resolve the argument by sticking to the subject or problem you are arguing about. Use facts that are relevant and be as practical as possible to solve what you are arguing about. Avoid digging up the past in an argument, and then using it as a weapon against your partner. Digging up old hurts can turn the smallest argument into a huge one this way. Another thing to avoid is insulting your partner or swearing at them, because this can really hurt your partner deeply and shows lack of respect; and should you do this, it can even end up in relationship termination. Stay within the parameters of self respect, to stop an argument escalating into a full blown war.

Allow your partner their chance to state their viewpoint.

An important part to the science of arguing in relationships is to listen to what your partner wants to say. They also have a view point on the issue you are arguing about, so give them a chance. If you are not sure what you partner is trying to say or get across to you, then say something like: ‘So I understand that you are trying to say that’… to get clarification. During an argument a person tends to not listen to the other properly because they are too busy formulating their rebuff while the other person is talking; or they may be thinking on what ammunition they are going to use in retaliation. Along these lines, some self control is pertinent, and that means trying not to scream and shout at each other. Turning your back on an argument as well is even worse and can add even more fuel to the fire. Finish the argument with your partner, and try to always avoid going to bed angry with each other.

Do not use Physical abuse; or Make threats To Do So in An Argument.

Avoid becoming physical in an argument and this includes throwing things at your partner. Later when you have both cooled off, these items you have broken will need to be replaced or repaired. If you feel you are reaching boiling points you can say you need time out to think about what your partner and you are arguing about. Your fury can become an out of control animal otherwise; and you can do something you regret later. If you are in a stormy relationship where you argue a lot seek guides on how to handle your issues properly especially if you really love someone. It is not necessary to let an argument mean the end of any relationship!

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