Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Getting Over a Relationship Breakup

Getting over a relationship breakup is probably one of the hardest things most people will ever have to face. First of all your heart is broken so you are suffering from that pain and your whole life is turned upside down. Stress studies have shown that a divorce or relationship breakups, rank even higher on the stress scale than losing a loved one to death. Most people do not have any idea how to properly handle a relationship breakup, and go about in all the wrong ways. The result is that healing takes a lot longer. In some cases you should think about whether there is any real possibility of rescuing your relationship? When your partner breaks up with you, then it is even harder getting over the relationship breakup, and if it was someone you really loved, then you are really going to find out what real pain of heartbreak feels like!

Is your relationship Truly Over in Finality?

This is a question you have to ask yourself, and truthfully answer. What you have to keep in mind is that a relationship needs two people in it obviously and you need to think what your partner may be feeling about the breakup. You may want to try and rescue the relationship, and carry on, but if your partner has really cut it off for good, then you may have to consider that the relationship is really over. This is going to be very painful and not something you may want to accept, especially if you have been together for a long time. Here are a few pointers to help you get over the relationship breakup.

Step One: Think about Why The relationship ended.

It is important to think about why the relationship ended and what caused the break up. Whether you broke up with your partner, or whether he/she broke up with you; the reasons and causes should be analyzed on why you separated. Either way, you should do some soul searching. If you broke up with your partner did you make a bad mistake, now that you are thinking about it? Naturally it was not a spur of the moment decision, and the breakup could have been a long time coming. Did you see the signs, or was it a plan you had, (if you were planning to break up the relationship.) If you still have some unanswered questions about why you broke up, then you are not going to be able to move beyond the relationship breakup, because it is like unfinished business.

Step Two: Get Rid of Reminders of the relationship

While you were a couple, you would have exchanged gifts, like jewelry, photos, and even maybe even have been spoiled with special clothing and what not. As difficult as it is going to be, you must get rid of these items; otherwise you are going to be constantly reminded of the relationship breakup. It is important to make some space between you, and you’re ex partner, or spouse. You can't go to bed each night with a photo of your ex on the nightstand, or hanging on to your ex's sweater to remind you of the smell of them. You must clean the deck, and putting away all the relationship reminders is important. Store them in a box somewhere if they are happy reminders, and later you can face them when you are past the hurt of the relationship break up.

Step three: Socialize with Positive Minded People

You know that there are negative people in the world, and positive people, pessimists and optimists if you like. If you've just experienced a relationship breakup, you're going to find that you are feeling very negative about everything, even about life itself. What you should do is find is socializing with positive people and friends, and spend as much time with them as possible. Making new friends will also get your mind off your broken relationship, and you can get a few things off your chest by talking about your relationship that is now over. You may even find someone special again to start a new relationship with this way.

Step four: Start Dating Again, Even if it is just Casually

The final step in getting over a relationship breakup is to start dating with someone new, if you realize that rescuing the relationship is impossible. It is important to keep in mind, that you do not try and meet someone that will replace your ex. When you date with new people, accept them as they are, without making comparisons. It is also not necessary to rush into new relationships commitments either, because you first need to get your confidence back, and realize that no matter what the reasons you broke up, it does not make you a bad person. It just means that perhaps you were not right for each other in your past relationship. Next time you have relationship problems, do not hesitate to look for expert tips and advice to make the best of your relationship, and solve problems as soon as they arise. Love and relationships are very precious and you will do well to treat them as such!

2 comments:

Raymond Bork said...

My wife left me because she was having an affair. I was of course devastated, and for many days was going downhill fast. It was after a visit to my doctor who had prescribed Prozac for depression, I decided I would not take the pills, but would pick my self up and try and get my wife back with me.

Those were difficult days but I did get her back.
That was more than ten years ago,and we are still together, closer than we were before the affair.

Raymond Bork said...

My wife left me because she was having an affair. I was of course devastated, and for many days was going downhill fast. It was after a visit to my doctor who had prescribed Prozac for depression, I decided I would not take the pills, but would pick my self up and try and get my wife back with me.

Those were difficult days but I did get her back.
That was more than ten years ago,and we are still together, closer than we were before the affair.